Bits and Pieces

Some quotes from the first draft of my novella. For the people that feel everything so deeply.

“He wants to know why grief always comes unannounced, tracking muddy footprints on the floors of a freshly cleaned house. It comes barreling in, then in the quiet hours of the morning it slips out, leaving only a mess behind. He can smell it on the couch and his clothes and the matted brown teddy bear. He’s come to know grief as a friend, a reminder of what is gone, but still there, in the most unexpected places.” -Kai

“I am no cardiothoracic surgeon, but I know If I cut my chest open and peeked through my ribs I’d find a chunk of my heart missing. I’d reach in and cradle my own heart in my hands, speak softly to it like a mother, urging it to keep beating because I can’t do it manually forever.” -Elowyn

“Trauma shows up and sits on my shoulder. It whispers in my ear and runs its claws up and down every vertebrae of my spine, gripping particularly hard once it reaches the back of my neck. “I’m here,” it says as it crawls beneath my skin, plucking blood vessels like guitar strings. I want a scalpel, I want a butcher knife, I want something sharp to cut out the parasite clinging to my bones, but a cigarette will do.” -Elowyn

“He watches her. He does a lot of watching and no telling. He should tell her “I think you're beautiful and if anyone wants to get close to god then they should get close to you because there must be something biblical about you, Elowyn Gray,” but he doesn’t, of course.” -Kai

“He’s been thinking about her. He doesn’t understand how a single person could derail him as fast as she did. They’re like two comets, blazing hot moving at the speed of light. It’s a collision course waiting to happen and when they meet everything explodes into a scattering of white hot stars. That’s how he sees it, atleast. A crash, yes, but a very rewarding one.” -Kai

“Kai knows that in every timeline where he and Elowyn meet, every outcome would be the same. However many times they cross paths, he knows he will choose her, every time, over and over again. There’s trauma coating their skin, but he doesn’t care about stains and neither does she. It is miraculous, he thinks, that the repulsive things hidden in his memories can still be loved as if they were her own.” -Kai